Unhealthy Living

The Garden, EDEN - In a shocking development, religious leaders at St. Saint’s Seminary School have found that according to religion, religion is true. Organizer, Father Padre Père, long a believer in his own religion, expressed hope that the findings would finally put to rest the modern argument that religion is based on superstitious beliefs that would normally be really … [continue]

Baroni's Baloney

Osaka, Japan - While television and film have long held opportunities for robot advancement in the arts, live theater systematically shunned the programmed players. Today, what seemed a glass ceiling for some robots, and outright bigotry for others, has been shattered with a groundbreaking performance. Osaka University has become home to one of Japan’s first robot-human theatrical productions. The … [continue]

Athletic Support

Little evokes the unsatisfying spirit of Jimmy Carter like a tie in professional football.  Ties are so rare in the NFL that, league wide, the stretch between ties is measured in years.  A certain number of NFL players didn’t know of the possibility of the tie as recently as last week, that number being either fifty percent or Donovan McNabb.  … [continue]

Political Pinions

In more civil and banal times, I could get behind the President choosing a cabinet to promote stability and continuity, or for simple political reasons.  This is no time for Carter-ian prudence, though.  America voted for change.  America gave Obama the mandate to bring the motherfuckin’ ruckus.

The voters, or maybe the fates themselves, have already decided how to … [continue]

Video Vignettes

You’ve heard the lies from Leslie Fox. Maybe you’ve noticed that someone is named “Pates Baroni”? I thank you for indulging lesser minds, but the time has come for some unadulterated awesome. Vote Bernard Bygott Editor and Chief, or be associated with losers forvever . I trust no one wants to burden themselves with the prospect of such a profoundly barren existence… [continue]