BREAKING - Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) has answered criticism that he is both out of touch with Barack Obama’s message of “change” and long past his prime with a sudden and dramatic makeover. Biden is calling his new look “radical garb,” which he describes as “a swingin’ combination of raw urban wear and sterile conformity.” He claims to have invented radical garb while “pondering on things that have never been done before in the world of fashion,” and fully expects “RG” to catch on with America’s youth. “Barack and I are the leaders of tomorrow, and the public looks to us for compelling, innovative ideas as we move closer to the age of the internet. Radical garb is just the first proposal of mine within a whole new series of innovations. Dollars to donuts Carson Daily will be dropping me props tomorrow on VH1.”

In further developments, Biden has legally changed his name to J-Biddle, claiming that he created the name through the development of another “fab” invention. “It’s a way of making names sound fly with a little creative wordplay and a Scrabble like element. Take the first letter of your first name, add a hyphen, add the first syllable of your family name, and then test out some groovy endings. ‘D’s’, ‘Z’s’ and L’s are particularly groovy! “J” for “Joseph.” “Bid” for “Biden.” “dle” for the groovy part! What’s that spell? “J-Biddle”…Man do I feel bangin’ coming up with all this stuff!”

Some voters, however, have been less impressed with the makeover. “We can still get somebody else to be the vice presidential nominee, right?” asked a teary eyed, 18 year-old Kamon Sennse of Hope, Delaware, gingerly. Her mother, Orse, offered little hope: “Only God or Obama knows the answer to that one, honey– whichever one’s smarter.”

Despite the early criticism, Biden/Biddle is keeping his composure, assuming that voters will accept him for who he is or whoever he becomes next. “I’m just keeping it real, sugardady homeslice! And besides, I’ve already been thinking about dropping ‘J-Biddle’ in favor of something that resembles this unisex symbol I saw printed on the door of a public bathroom, you know, as a tribute to some of my homeboys who were held up in the rough and tumble restrooms of Scranton, PA.”

Since J-Biddle’s burst into the public eye, Barack Obama has contracted laryngitis and speaker’s block.