Michael Jackson @ 50
Aug 31st, 2008 | By Bernard Bygott | Category: Unhealthy Living
Neverland Ranch, CA – Michael Jackson turned 50 on Friday. Although the star received an overwhelming variety of birthday presents from family, friends, and fans alike, one anonymous superfan offered the King of Pop something truly unusual: an opportunity to travel back in time and eliminate the many botched plastic surgeries that have since left his face “falling apart”.
Amazingly, the time contraption successfully transformed Jackson into a rather normal looking African American man! Further details will be made available whenever the paralyzing shock wears off.
In an unrelated story, sources close to Jackson report that the star has opened the Neverland School of Arts and Crafts.
*age progression based on work from www.forartist.com
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I don’t know why more people don’t apreciate what Mr. Jackson has done. By turning his face into a facsimile of an anime vampire he is speaking to the intrinsic artificiality of our society. He tells us, “look, even that most organic and human part of me, that with which I communicate to the world, has been consumed and made into a tawdry plastic knock off of what should be real. Look for perfection through purchasing at thy own peril.”
Thank you Mr. Jackson
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