"WE FILL YOU WITH FILLING"

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Michael Jackson @ 50

Aug 31st, 2008 | By Bernard Bygott | Category: Unhealthy Living

Neverland Ranch, CA – Michael Jackson turned 50 on Friday. Although the star received an overwhelming variety of birthday presents from family, friends, and fans alike, one anonymous superfan offered the King of Pop something truly unusual: an opportunity to travel back in time and eliminate the many botched plastic surgeries that have since left his face “falling apart”.

Amazingly, the time contraption successfully transformed Jackson into a rather normal looking African American man! Further details will be made available whenever the paralyzing shock wears off.

In an unrelated story, sources close to Jackson report that the star has opened the Neverland School of Arts and Crafts.

*age progression based on work from www.forartist.com
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About The Author: Bernard Bygott

A domestic shorthair with a luminous grey mane who is loving and affectionate, personable and sweet. Already de-clawed and neutered, he does suffer from several conditions, such as a heart murmur, chronic uveitis (inflammation of the middle layer of the eye), tumors in both ears, and possibly a hyperthyroid-- all reliable diagnoses he gleaned from CatWebMD.com.

11 comments
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  1. I don’t know why more people don’t apreciate what Mr. Jackson has done. By turning his face into a facsimile of an anime vampire he is speaking to the intrinsic artificiality of our society. He tells us, “look, even that most organic and human part of me, that with which I communicate to the world, has been consumed and made into a tawdry plastic knock off of what should be real. Look for perfection through purchasing at thy own peril.”
    Thank you Mr. Jackson

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