Foxborough, MA – It was a day like any other, the sun rose in New England as per his orders and 60,000 true believers made the first pilgrimage of the holy season to the great cathedral of Foxburough. Conditions for the ceremony seemed ideal, the sky was blue and the warmth of summer lingered as ordained. Then, as if in direct mockery of his divine plan, the dastardly Chiefs directed Bernard Pollard, a high ranking demon of the secondary, to perform a safety blitz (but friends I tell you, there was nothing safe about it). For loe, even as the golden one completed a pass to the prodigal receiver (Randy Moss), in that very moment of triumph and vulnerability he was struck down, the very ligaments in his anointed knee ruptured asunder. Oh the lamentations of the faithful as god’s avatar in football form was helped hobbling from the field, his glowing countenance tight in agony.

Who, we ask, who now shall lead heaven’s team to victory when Ragnarök comes. Michael has never been able to understand the cover-two zone favored the prince of lies, Gabriel is needed at halfback, and Urel… let’s face it Urel has a rubber arm and is best used holding the golden clipboard. Oh, how Beazlebub must be chortling even as he restores Joe Namath to youth and vigor for the game.

But friends, we must remember, even in these most difficult times, that he has a plan, that he does not give us burdens that we cannot bear. Even Job was restored to wealth and health after his trial, and so we must keep the faith, even if Tony Romo has never won a playoff game.

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