Obama, #44
Nov 5th, 2008 | By Leslie Fox | Category: News
Chicago IL, Hundreds of thousands flocked to Grant park last night to witness history with their own eyes. They chanted their mantra into the evening air in hope and anticipation, “Yes we can! Yes we can!” Finally, after a wait that lasted hours, years, or a lifetime, the numbers came through, ballots were tallied and Barack Obama was declared President Elect of the United States of America. There was roar from the crowd, many wept openly and unashamedly, this was confirmation of America’s promise. America finally had elected a secret Muslim to be leader of the free world.
Obama approached the podium and the crowd renewed its frenzy. The president elect then raised his hand in a coded salute of secret Islamic brotherhood. After several minutes the crowd quieted enough for him to speak. “If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.” He said while nodding subtly but significantly toward Mecca. The crowd, composed of secret Muslims and college students, cheered again. It was a rousing speech, not triumphant but rather a call to action, and also, and perhaps most importantly, it was a coded prayer to Allah.
The speech acted as a final moment of catharsis for the crowd. Two years of grueling campaigning summed up in a fifteen minutes of the controlled brilliant oratory that secret Muslims the world over are known for. “This is a night for me and my shadow brethren.” Said a masked man in the crowd, “Barack is such an inspiration, some days I would wake up, eat a plate of fried bacon, and not even be sure if I was a secret Muslim, or an open Christian. But he kept fighting everyday and so I kept fighting everyday. There’s no one I could admire more, unless of course John McCain has been exchanging post cards with Osama Bin Laden.”
.You happened to be over at your folks when Barack Obama delivered
his acceptance speech for President of the United States. I happened to notice that you were moved almost to tears and overcome with joy witnessing the Grant Park speech, so what is this Blog about ?
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They (our comic overlords) say that the first law of comedy is never explain a joke. So, in addressing your comment I run the very real risk of having my guild membership revoked. On the other hand, they may kick me out anyway. After all, the guild elders are mostly hard hearted, unsmiling liberals. Also, certain people are really unhappy with me.
Barack Obama is an African American, that he could be elected president a mere forty years after the civil rights movement restores our faith in America at a time when it had been badly shaken. Of all the crazy rumors circulated about President elect Obama, perhaps the most scurrilous was that he was in fact secretly a Muslim. This post was simply meant to point out the absurdity of calling someone a “secret Muslim,” it was also meant to tweak those who spread the rumor in the first place, and I hope that it might recall a bit of what Colin Powell said much better, that even if he is a Muslim (he definitively is not) it shouldn’t matter, all that should matter is that he is the right person for the job.