Dubuque, Iowa. Millions of white voters have been disenfranchised due to a faulty “Bradley Effect.” All across America, the cries of injustice can be heard. Here in a small diner famous for it’s lemon meringue pie, I spoke to Dubuque’s shocked residents.

Henry Smith worked at the local aluminum extruding plant until it’s doors were shut three years ago. With the town’s major source of employment shipped to the Philippines, Henry had to rely on his wife’s small pension from the high school where she had worked as a secretary for thirty-five years. It was then that the Smith’s began paying attention to the compelling voice of a young senator from neighboring Illinois.

“I thought we’d be safe listening to what Mr. Obama said, all that good sense he made” said Henry. “Me and my wife Gertrude thought there was no danger in our agreement with that fella’s political opinions. Never knew there was a risk of voting for him. I would have turned off the dang radio if I knew this could happen.”

Shunned from her church’s social club and weekly bridge game, Gertrude is now one of the town’s pariah’s. “It’s not our fault” sobbed Gertrude. “We’re good people, real Americans, like that Palin lady. We just believed what the news was telling us, that the Bradley effect would kick in as soon as we got inside that voting booth. Never thought white folks could vote for a non-white no matter how much they believed what he was saying. I don’t know what went wrong. God have mercy on us all.”

The head of Henry and Gertrude’s church, Pastor Blanton, seems to have no sympathy for their plight. “A lot of folks came here looking for forgiveness on the fifth, but they should have seen the error of their ways on the fourth. Not like this never happened before. That’s how we ended up with a school treasurer from Brazil.”