Of those that happen upon Receiving Me?, there are a select few who read the content. Those who read the content give way to an even slimmer masochistic minority who revisit our foe magazine. This piece is for the edification of that slim readership.

Revisiting our beloved site, in search of good material you did not find the first time, is a natural part of the human condition. No matter how troublesome the compulsion may be, you are not alone. Akin to the futile act of manically checking the same pocket you usually put your car keys in after you know the pocket is empty, scouring this site will not cause readable content to materialize.

If you are caught in a cycle of periodically checking our site, here is a helpful hint that may dissuade your Pavlovian tic: We, the writers of Receiving Me?, use only our best material. That’s right, we choose these articles from a handful of even worse ideas flitting about in the backs of our heads.

Here is an example of one such thought I aborted moments ago:

thguartsiD sredaeR :sdrawkcaB detnirP elcitrA

.efil ym detsiaw ev‘I hO .esrever ni krow ton seod kcehclleps ,eton edis a sA .gniniatretene eb dluow siht thguoht ylnekatsim dna rettam tcejbus on dah eh esuaceb rettel yb rettel sdrawkcab etorw reggolb eno ,emit detsiaw fo yalpsid gninnuts a nI

How can subjecting you to the placenta of our publication help steer you away from the site once and for all? Because, it proves that you are getting only the best of our ideas, the cream of the crop, the very first time you visit the site. There is no great “funny” lurking in the shadows. No enjoyable read hidden behind a lesser piece. This is it. Your search is over. The pot at the end of the rainbow is empty and always has been. Now you are free to spend your time playing on Wikipedia.