Obama has Only One Choice for Cabinet: Wu – Tang!
Nov 20th, 2008 | By Freeman Frohlich | Category: Political Pinions

In more civil and banal times, I could get behind the President choosing a cabinet to promote stability and continuity, or for simple political reasons. This is no time for Carter-ian prudence, though. America voted for change. America gave Obama the mandate to bring the motherfuckin’ ruckus.
The voters, or maybe the fates themselves, have already decided how to bring America to the world correct. The RZA. Inspectah Deck. Method Man. Raekwon, the Chef. The GZA (Wu – Tang forms like Voltron, and he’s the head.) U-God, and both the Ghostface and Masta Killas. A robot, programmed at MIT, with an algorithm that simulates the erratic genius of the Ol’ Dirty Bastard, aka Big Baby Jesus.
The arguments are so simple and obvious they almost don’t need mention, but let me lay this down for posterity.
America has called for more transparency in government; Obama was elected as a response to the insular decision making of the Bush administration. The Wu fears no man, and will communicate frankly and openly with the American people. To wit:
Raw I’m gonna give it to ya, with no trivia
Raw like cocaine straight from Bolivia
- U – God, Da Mystery of Chessboxin’
This is no time for America to appear soft. The vice president elect himself, in one of his “Why hasn’t anyone shut this guy’s mike off?” moments, has promised an international crisis soon into the Obama Presidency. The Wu welcomes such crisis, the Wu sees crisis as an opportunity to defeat America’s enemies and take what’s theirs:
Rae got it goin on pal, call me the rap assassinator
Rhymes rugged and built like Schwarzenegger
And I’m a get mad deep like a threat, blow up your project
Then take all your assets
- Raekwon, the Chef, Protect Ya Neck
Even the most virulent hawk can get behind that policy.
The most pressing issue on Americans’ minds is the economy, and you know the Wu will get that money:
Cash Rules Everything Around Me
C.R.E.A.M.
Get the money
Dollar, dollar bill y’all
- Method Man, C.R.E.A.M.
The Wu has mastered every medium they have faced: music, television, movies. They have effectively had a liberal arts education to rival any four-year institution. If the Wu turn their gaze to politics, they will soon make even the sleaziest K Street lobby bow in fear:
I come rough, tough like an elephant tusk
Ya head rush, fly like Egyptian musk
Aw shit, Wu-Tang Clan spark the wicks an’
However, I master the trick just like Nixon
- Ghostface Killah, Bring Da Ruckus
Announce your presence to the world with authority, Obama. Wu – tang!





























Is there someway we can change the constitution so that Robot ODB can run on the libertarian ticket in 2012?