NovaCare Center, Philadelphia PA – Donavan McNabb, long time Eagles quarterback, called a press conference today to state his eagerness for the start of regular season play.

“This has been fun and all, I’ve really had a chance to work on some things, to take some chances and make some plays that you can’t really do when the season starts, but now I’m really ready for the season to start.” Said McNabb

“I mean, I understand the value of preparation and all, but I really think 15 games is a little bit excessive. The roster has been set for like 3 months now, seriously lets get going already.” Added the five time pro-bowler.

When asked about being pulled at half time for second year player Kevin Kolb, McNabb reacted with characterized good humor. “Hey, everybody has to get some reps in. I mean who knows when the kid might have to step in and play a series or two when it counts.” Said McNabb “I know that the fans complain when they pay full price for a game and then don’t get to see their favorite players compete for the whole game, but that’s just the preseason for you.”

McNabb seemed confused when asked about the playoff implications of the 7-36 blowout loss they suffered to Baltimore. “Look, you always want to win, but this is pre-season, it doesn’t count. But if you guys are that worried about it you can wait until week eleven when we take [Baltimore] on for real. I saw some things while I was on the sidelines holding the clipboard for [Kevin Kolb] that I think we’ll really be able to capitalize on.”

The confusion only deepened when members of the press attempted to inform McNabb that the season was in fact well underway, and that Eagles were very much in danger of missing the playoffs for the third time in four years. “Hey, c’mon guys. April fools day is in April, and football season starts after Thanksgiving. That’s how it works. I’ll admit I was a little concerned with our level of play over the last few months, especially because I was receiving game checks, which usually doesn’t happen during the pre-season, but then Kolb got in [against Baltimore] and I remembered that this was just the preseason, and that I should just relax and have fun.”

As of press time Donavan was reportedly planning an elaborate practical joke for Head Coach Andy Reid. “That guy needs to lighten up a bit. I mean it’s not like anybody’s job is on the line or anything. Little bit of shaving cream and some stray cats ought to help keep the team loose and ready for prime time.”