Washington, DC - President Harry Truman was the first US president to pardon a Thanksgiving turkey. Both scrupulous and unscrupulous turkeys alike have been pardoned ever since… until now. With President Bush’s approval rating dipping bellow the approval rating of “Pumpkin” (this year’s turkey chosen for pardon), officials in the White House have decided to modify the tradition and have the turkey pardon Bush. Bush’s harshest critics (i.e. everyone) are up in arms over what they describe as a sinister PR move that aims to capitalize on human inability to discern Pumpkin’s true opinion of the controversial president. Members of the activist group moveon.org posted their thoughts online claiming that, “There is no evidence to support the theory that Pumpkin supports the war in Iraq or evil. It is more likely that Pumpkin actually is a pumpkin.” However, Press Secretary, Dana Perino, issued a statement claiming that the President and Pumpkin had a long meeting in which it was firmly established that the two share many things in common including illiteracy and silly grins. “It logically follows that Pumpkin is a Republican,” said Ms. Perino. Leaders in the Democratic party were unsure how to respond to the claim, knowing full well that distancing themselves from illiterate Americans would marginalize their base, while admitting that nobody likes silly grins. Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid (D-Nev), acknowledged “Ms. Perino’s statements were among the shrewdest I’ve heard in the political arena… we may just have to admit defeat for a little while, at least until people forget our admission, or, better yet, until the president is pardoned by Santa Claus, whichever comes first.”