President Obama is working way too hard. Honestly it’s making the rest of us look bad. I just wish he understood how it feels to get out of bed at noon, flip open the paper, and see a picture of him signing stuff. Nobody ever asks me to sign anything; least not since my credit card got taken away. Yet there he is day after day signing stuff and acting important and busy. Show off.

In the war on terror he has mandated that Guantanamo bay detention center must be closed within the year, that the CIA must follow the army field manual for interrogations, and that troop numbers in Afghanistan be doubled.  And then without even taking a break for some nachos or a nap he goes and signs new equal pay legislation so that people who are compensated unfairly based on race or gender might more easily sue their wicked employers. Lot of presidents would of said, “okay, that’s it for workers rights” but instead he signed executive orders that restore negotiating powers to labor unions that they had lost under President Bush. And it’s not enough that he’s radically shifted US policy foreign and domestic policy, he has to go and shift our rhetorical stance too. Tough talk and threats have been replaced by calls for unity, and a carrot has been added to the stick. Well whoop-ti-do Mr. President Busy-pants.

But all of this will be for naught if he can’t get his economic stimulus package passed by mid February. Somehow he’s found hours in the day to try and talk Republicans into voting for the package. Fortunately the GOP has decided to fight the bill because it doesn’t conform to their thoroughly discredited supply-side ideology. Democrats have countered by pointing out that if the republicans were so smart they would have won more elections and then they could craft the bill they want, but they didn’t so they can gargle Nancy Pelosi’s figurative balls. It’s kind of tough spot to start negotiating from.

Regardless, the bill seems likely to pass with or without Republican support and, as everyone on the hill is out of practice when it comes to compromising on things, it will have to. Personally I’m hoping that this a political ploy by the GOP, after all no matter what happen is seems unlikely that the economy will turn around before the mid term elections, at which point the GOP can say they had better ideas and nobody listened. Then they’ll take back the house and senate in time to hamstring the package. Ah, who am I kidding, that’s just wishful thinking.

They’re just going sit on the hill wrangling the piddly details and arranging strategic pork and nobody is going to even ask if the package is should be done at all. I guess nobody on capital hill cares about my problems. For example, lets say there are gigantic tax cuts. Doesn’t help me even a little bit. I don’t pay taxes because taxes are for productive members of society, a club that refuses to let me in based on a technicality, i.e. I aint productive. So there’s everybody buying flat screens and new cars with there lovely tax rebates and I’m sitting here watching TV on my computer. Not fair. Now let’s say the Dems get their way and they order up a bunch of government spending. All of a sudden there’s all this government money just looking for a productive pocket to go in and people have jobs and are spending money and the whole confounded economy starts spooling up and pretty soon people stop being sympathetic to the unemployed. Where does that leave me? Instead of being a victim, I get stuck being a deadbeat. I’ve tried both, and “victim of incompetent banks and governance” draws more ladies than “too lazy to get a job or even blog full time” any day of the week.

In conclusion, maybe the fat-cats in DC should do all of my brethren in laziness a favor and stop worrying about getting America to work and start worrying about something, anything, else. How about bird flu, that’s still going around right? If they have to do some sort of stimulus, maybe they can just give us all scratch off lottery tickets. That’ll put some money in a few people’s pockets without actually producing stuff, and empty wealth based on air and imagination is the wealth that will keep me out of the work force. Anyway, God bless America, and for crying out loud stop working so hard, you’re making me dizzy.