Tom Daschle offered a public apology on Monday evening for his failure to pay income taxes on use of a luxury car and driver, and Senate Democrats rallied behind him, saying they intended to win his confirmation as secretary of health and human services…

Nancy Killefer, who failed for a year and a half to pay employment taxes on household help, has withdrawn her candidacy to be the first chief performance officer for the federal government, the White House said Tuesday…

Timothy F. Geithner was sworn in as secretary of the Treasury on Monday evening, confirmed by a Senate majority that concluded that his experience in government and finance outweighed concerns about recent disclosures of some $34,000 in past tax delinquencies…*

From the desk of the president

Attn. cabinet nominees, executive appointees, and members of the typing pool:

In as much as you are being considered for government employee by my administration I would be grateful if you would deign to pay your taxes in a timely manner. You may want to consider hiring a professional accountant and then giving him all of your receipts. You should follow this up by sending a check for the FULL amount suggested by your accountant, along with all the relevant forms to the IRS.

A few things to remember: If you have someone in your employ there is such a thing as “payroll tax,” this applies even if they are in the country illegally (see memo: please don’t employ illegal immigrants), or they work in the sex industry (see memo: stop using prostitutes). I’m not trying to embarrass anyone here, especially not Timothy, Nancy, or Tom, it’s just that it’s kind of important to pay taxes when you propose to govern a bunch of tax payers.

One final note, if anyone is selling crack, having an affair with a fifteen year old, smoking crack, or euthanizing old ladies please let me know BEFORE the press finds out.

All the best

B

*Thanks to the NY Times