Hello Friend,

You’re looking well. I see that like me you appreciate the finer things in life. Whether it’s an isolated tropical beach in the pacific where the Sun drops into the ocean just so, a deep tissue massage from a blind Thai girl trained from birth in the seven arts of easing troubled flesh, or a spirit prepared with the finest ingredients to the exacting tastes of me, Hollywood star Danny DeVito, you accept only the best.

Friend, we are friends of course, for all of us who share the tangled path of life and who climb the sisyphean slope to perfection are friends. Sit with me a moment and savor this, the world’s finest limoncello, Danny’s Limoncello®. I have something important to tell you. Something I know you will understand.

They say that the eyes are windows to the soul, and in yours I see the seasoning that comes of world travel and hard won wisdom. In their depths I see the glare of African Sun, the steamy jungle throb of Brazil, and the majestic chill of the Bearing Sea. Their twinkle speaks of a life lived to its fullest measure and a restless spirit, always questing, always curious, always ready for adventure. I see in your eyes what I feel in my own soul. It was precisely that spirit of adventure that led me to Southern Italy, where I found this ultimate spirit of refreshment.

It is there, on the Sorrentine peninsula that the world’s finest organic lemons are grown. And it was there that I first realized my calling in life, to bring this perfect blend of lemon, sugar, and alcohol to the world. Go ahead friend, sniff the label, only the finest limoncello in the world, Danny’s Limoncello®, has our patented scratch and sniff label so that you might sample the fresh scent of Sorrento without leaving your pantry.

Go ahead, take a bottle. I only ask that you remember to serve ice cold, and that you that you think of our special time together as your savor it.

Ciao

Hey, did Danny DeVito come through here. Yeah, I thought I smelled that lemony fresh scent. Always reminds me of my mom, she used to wash the dishes with stuff that smelled like that, which is fine if you don’t mind drinking dish soap or hanging out with your mom. But I’m guessing that you want something a little more sophisticated, something exotic, perhaps something that sounds a little dangerous. And if it’ll clear that cloying lemon flavor out of your mouth, all the better…

Here, let me pour you some Mansinthe, the only Absinthe good enough for me, Marilyn Manson. Yes, it is truly a hardcore beverage. What’s more, it’s always appropriate to the situation. Whether you want just the right sophisticated touch to finish off a dinner party, or a something exotic to take to a goat blood orgy, there’s never a wrong time for Mansinthe. That is, unless you plan on operating a motor vehicle, in which case I should tell you that drinking and driving is not at all cool. I checked with Satan and he is with me on this.

So, what are you waiting for, Head on down to your nearest purveyor of fine spirits for a bottle Mansinthe right now. I promise you won’t regret it, not even as your bones are burned to ash in the fourth circle of hell.