Academy Awards to Feature Brains
Feb 20th, 2009 | By Bernard Bygott | Category: News
The Academy Awards are just around the corner and, thus far, destined to continue a long tradition of awarding obvious, over-bloated sentimentality. But RM? has submitted a proposal to the Academy which, if implemented, will surely change the course of history and maybe even save the reputation of the weepy-eyed conglomerate. RM? advises… triumph by head size. Supporters of the initiative are calling it “at least an equally compelling delineator of victory as the usual criteria.” In a memo released to Academy voters (who may now have to search for something new to pretend is really important), the specifics of the proposal are detailed:
Actors, editors, directors, cinematographers, etc. will have their heads measured live onstage at the awards ceremony in what promises to be the most entertaining and accurate Academy Awards ever!
With “triumph by head size” on the brink of implementation, John C. Reilly is now the frontrunner in every category for which he is eligible.
“Please be considerate and make room on your screen.”
