From a Fly on the Wall in GOP Headquarters
Feb 27th, 2009 | By Leslie Fox | Category: Political Pinions
Gentlemen, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. We just got our derrieres punted good, and it looks like the old pay back leg is winding up for another round. We don’t do something soon, we’re all gonna be standing around too sore to sit.
We all know what happened over the last eight years… The damned democrats used their powerful minority and positive press coverage to undermine our every action. They kept carping about wealth imbalance and massive deficits and unnecessary war and suddenly nobody can remember why we are in Iraq or even what we hope to accomplish there, and worst of all the economy collapsed, just like they planned it.
Now, the American people, god bless ‘em, are normally a reliable bunch. But sometimes they can get confused, like when the liberal media starts telling them that the economy is in the toilet, or their boss tells them that they’ve been laid off and the factory is closing. Well, when Old Joe Lunchbox starts hearing things like that and he starts thinking that maybe the economy is getting a bit soft.
Normally Joe Dirt Farmer isn’t a complicated fella. Generally all he needs to stay happy and keep quiet is a boilermaker and a truck stop glory hole. But when things go wrong, well he starts blaming the first people he sees, this time around it was us. Yup, Ol’ Joe Worm-Harvester is a simple man, doesn’t take the historical view, doesn’t understand that it’s all Bill Clinton’s fault. Heckfire, sometimes Joe Panhandler can’t even remember that Roosevelt was a Bolshevik.
Yes sir, when Joe HV/HC guy gets confused we take some hits. All of us here got friends and colleagues who got tossed out on their teakettles, out there in the cold looking for jobs on K Street, only K Street ain’t doing so hot itself. And I don’t want to even talk about the so called Economic Stimulus and Recovery Act consarnit. Since when has paying public school teachers and cops been the job of the government? Makes me madder than a coon hound chasing a tick on his fishing tackle to even think about it.
Anyway, something’s got to be done. The American people, our people, don’t want to listen to some tired old white boys talking Adam Smith fundamentals while they’re losing their house. Nor are they interested in seeing some decrepit old fogies telling ‘em about a fairytale Middle East where are brave boys kick keister until them A-rabs straiten up, start worshiping Jesus and start acting civil-like. But it ain’t the message gentleman, deep down Ol’ Joe Hockey-Mom wants that message, it’s the messenger. I learned that from double R…
Excuse me a moment fellas, gotta adjust my golf bag, thinking about the Gipper makes me stiffer n’ a frozen two by four.
Now, as I was saying. We got a winning message; we just need a winning messenger. Now here’s where I think we can learn something from the demoncrats. Take a close look at Barak Hussein and tell me what you see… Inspiring speaker? Walks a delicate line between pragmatism and hope? You gentlemen need to look again, tell me what you really see. That’s right, skinny fella, jug ears, not of the Caucasian persuasion…
Gentlemen I give you the next president of these United States, Bobby Jindal!
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Generally all he needs to stay happy and keep quiet is a boilermaker and a truck stop glory hole. Sounds a cool one. Thanks!
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