Disclaimer: The following is provided for educational purposes only and in no way condones stealing movies from the rightful millionaires who deserve your money!!! Seriously, if you like a film… try paying for it!!!

So, technologically unsophisticated one, you have recently discovered that there are ways to borrow movies using a little invention called “the internet”. However, you are what many dorky internet snot-balls refer to as a “newbie” or “noob”. Therefore you have ventured to a satirical blog that offers little in the way of serious information for answers. We aim to please…

If you fit the description above, you have probably downloaded or streamed a movie with a rather cumbersome file name. Let’s assume you downloaded the much publicized X-Men Origins: Wolverine workprint that was leaked onto the net a month ago to great fanfare. There are a few versions of the film floating around, but we’ll pretend the file you downloaded was titled…

X-Men.Origins.Wolverine.2009.WORKPRINT.XviD-OPTiC

Believe it or not all of that information means something.

X-Men.Origins.Wolverine.2009 identifies the title of the movie, plus date (the date is optional and often, as in this case, amazingly unnecessary.)

WORKPRINT identifies the release type. (More on this in a jiffy.)

Xvid identifies the video compression used. (You are always watching a compressed movie, otherwise video files would be gigantic!)

OPTIC identifies the group of “pirates” that released the video (aka. their tag — i.e., they want credit!)

THE MOST IMPORTANT INFO, YOUNG TRAVELER, IS “RELEASE TYPE”!

You see all the other crap is either really obvious or not that important, but the release type is majorly confusing and, well, radically changes whether or not you are about to enjoy yourself, or watch a giant cluster of pixels you’ll have to assume is Sean Penn acting brilliantly. With that in mind, I present to you a master list of the most common release types with brief descriptions and video examples/approximations. (Try not to fall asleep, I dare you, and maybe you’ll even thank me later.)

(For your convenience, the examples below have been converted to flash and only represent an attempt to copy the look and feel of their associated release types were you to watch these release types in fullscreen.)

CAM: Why anyone in their right mind would watch this crap is beyond me. However, if you really need to see what a movie looks and sounds like through the eyes of a camcorder, then CAM is for you! The jaunty angle of the video, the distorted soundtrack (recorded by the camera’s onboard mic), the people who get up to go to the bathroom, and the folks who laugh at every joke, all preserved for your viewing/listening pleasure!

CAM Example:

TELESYNC (TS): A telesync is still a CAM recording. The only real difference is that TS means an external audio source has been tapped for the recording, as opposed the camera’s crappy onboard mic. This audio is usually grabbed from an audio jack that has been placed in a chair equipped for the hearing impaired. Unfortunately a direct audio source does not ensure high quality audio; pretty much anything with a signal can interfere with these systems. However, the fact that a person took the time to try to provide decent audio often means that the video quality is better as well. Many telesync’s are filmed in empty theaters or directly from the projection booth with a high def cam. (Those naughty projectionists!)

TS Example:

TELECINE (TC): A Telecine Machine is a professional piece of equipment that copies film directly to video. The resulting copy is generally high quality, though not usually retail DVD quality. Telecines are rare because the equipment is expensive and the circumstance in which a person has direct unsupervised access to motion picture reels is equally uncommon. (Again with the naughty projectionists.)

TC Example:

SCREENER (SCR): Believe it or not, a VHS tape may be the source of your online video! Yes, apparently some studios still use VHS for promotional purposes, etc. Obviously the picture quality is limited — add to that a watermark (an onscreen emblem or code identifying the specific copy) and a “ticker” (a message that appears in the video from time to time reminding viewers not to sell or redistribute the product, whoops), and (sometimes) a timecode (an onscreen clock that keeps track of time for editing purposes) and you’ve conjured the screener experience. Oh yeah, most screeners are in pan & scan format, so no widescreen… sorry. That being said, not every screener comes with all that nonsense, and many are entirely watchable, especially if they have been copied from a master copy with professional dubbing equipment. Also, it helps if you imagine it’s the 80’s. (Remember Betamax?)

SCR Example (Good):

SCR Example (Bad):

DVD-SCREENER (DVDScr): A video ripped from a DVD released by the studio for promotional purposes (usually sent to Academy voters and/or retail video stores, sometimes significantly before the movie appears in theaters). The video and audio quality is usually very high. 90 percent of the time the release is widescreen as well! There is still a good chance that a ticker or watermark will disrupt your viewing pleasure, but not always. A DVDScr will not contain DVD extras, as such extras only appear on a commercial DVD. All in all, a high quality release type.

DVDScr Example:

DVDRip: Just what is sounds like: a video ripped from a completed retail DVD or a final edit DVD that has been acquired prior its public release. Sometimes DVDRips include extras; sometimes they don’t. Video and audio are usually impeccable. (Surpassed only by BluRay rips.)

DVDRip Example:

WORKPRINT (WP): As with the case of the much publicized X-Men Origins: Wolverine workprint, a video labeled WP is a video copied from an incomplete film. More often than not, a workprint is leaked to the net by someone working inside the producing studio. Timecodes, missing special effects, additional scenes, missing scenes, placehold music, missing music, missing Foley sound, sloppy editing, and any other post production features that have yet to be created, subtracted, added and/or corrected are all fair game… Hey, that’s why they call it a WORKprint! Audio and video quality can vary a great deal, depending on the source. Nevertheless, an unfinished film can be a lot of fun to watch, and, nine times out of ten, it’s a lot more fun than the commercial release!

WP Example (sorry, no Wolverine example here; Fox is WAY too upset about that thing):

R5 & R5.Line: Probably the two most misunderstood and unique release types, videos tagged R5 have been ripped from Region 5 DVD’s that are issued directly from the producing studios and released in Russia very early on in the theatrical run of a film in order to combat the widespread piracy in the region. Apparently, Telecine Machines are as plentiful as vodka bottles over there; so motion picture studios came up with the R5 strategy in late 2004/early 2005 and have used it ever since (to varying degrees of success). Region 5 DVD’s are made quickly and on the cheap. Video quality varies, usually better than VHS, but it is a DVD and therefore digital and very rippable without much downgrade in quality. In step the pirates (naturally) who simply use the R5 DVD’s to make higher quality pirated releases of films that are still in theatrical release. Kind of ironic. One problem for them, however: R5 DVD’s are released with dubbed Russian voiceovers, and only occasionally feature “alternate” language sountracks that provide, say… English dialogue. When this is the case, as it often is, someone in pirate land (or “the scene” as it is officially termed) overdubs the Russian soundtrack with an English soundtrack, often acquired by recording audio directly from a theater equipped with earphone jacks to assist the hearing impaired. Such overdubbed R5’s are referred to as “R5.Line”, to indicate that the audio is not directly from a DVD (and, thus, of lower quality). “R5.Line” is also used when referring to an R5 dubbed with CAM audio, as in the example below…

R5.Line Example:

1080p.BluRay & 720p.BluRay: Nowadays computers are so powerful that people are ripping from HD Bluray disks in order to watch pirated movies in extremely high quality. Obviously if you see something in this format it’s pretty much guaranteed to look and sound phenomenal. 1080p stands for 1080 pixels of vertical resolution, and 720p stands for 720 pixels of vertical resolution (in other words, in both cases, way more detail than you’d ever need!) A rip from a 1080p.Bluray is generally around 8 Gigs! A 720p.BluRay is around 4.5 Gigs! Either way they are large files that most people either burn to play on their flatscreen TV’s or erase immediately after watching on their computers!

720p.BluRay Example (not that it’s even remotely possible to replicate here, but what the hell):

Okay, that’s it. Consider yourself informed. If you want to know anything else about “the scene” just ask. That’s why I’ve provided the handy-dandy comment section below. Oh, and if you feel I’ve made some grave errors, feel free to let me know!

‘Till next time, remember that just because this stuff is out there for free, doesn’t mean you should start downloading it. Remember to support the folks who actually make movies to begin with (especially if you can afford to do so)! Paying people for their hard work is important, gratifying, and the only way to ensure that the motion picture industry thrives in the future! But, if you must watch one of these things, I hope you at least now know to choose R5 over Cam (or don’t say I didn’t warn you!).