Everybody’s Working for the Weekend
Jun 2nd, 2009 | By Leslie Fox | Category: News
President Obama has policy ambitions beyond that of your average president. Perhaps it’s because of a friendly senate and a country in crisis, after all, the word for crisis in Greek is (opportunity + sub-prime meltdown – volcano)/tragic incest*. Thus far Mr. Obama has gotten quite a bit done. Massive injections of capital into troubled financial institutions, state governments, and the automotive industry have lead to a world shortage of zeros, to the point where this author is forced to spell zero, or use a capital “o” when I wish to refer to the mathematical symbol for naught.
Some of this spending may even be having a positive effect. The banking system seems to have stabilized, and it’s now become possible to imagine a future economy that does not rely on the barter system.
But this president isn’t content with merely trying to save the economy, no, the agenda moves on. Last month the president signed a credit card reform act that ensured that no American need ever enter one of our national parks without a handgun. God bless America and dad-blast varmints.
But, despite these signs of progress and steps toward reform, problems continue to surface. This last week saw the final death rattle of GM’s solvency. Now comes the limbo of chapter 11. Will bankruptcy render GM down to sweet succulent broth of viability? Or will there be nothing left but a scorched sludge of gristle-like assets too laden with debt and decrepitude to sell? Only time will tell, or to put it another way, I’m no longer sure what question I was trying to ask, but I would like some soup.
It’s enough to make one wonder how the president found time to hit New York City with Michelle for dinner and a show. Many feel that president’s callus act, taking time off on a Saturday to do fun things with his wife, was a disgusting and decadent display that shows how out of touch he is with struggling Americans who have lost their jobs, health insurance, or higher brain function.
Senator Mitch McConnell, (R) Kentucky, led the chorus of outrage. “In this time of economic crisis, when good, god fearing Americans are forced to sell blood and semen just to put good Kentucky bourbon on the table, it seems inappropriate for the president to live in an extravagant white mansion in a fashionable section of Washington DC.” The Senator went on to say “Seriously, how can the president spend a weekend gallivanting up to NYC for a stupid show with his wife when he doesn’t even have time to join my fantasy baseball league?”
Mr. McConnell was not alone in his criticism of the president’s off duty activities. Senator Joe Lieberman, (I) Connecticut, also chimed in. “There are other more cost effective ways for the president to recreate. For example, I have a karaoke machine, and if the president were to come by, say Thursday night, and bring some Smirnoff ice, or maybe a bottle of zinfandel, I know we could have a great time while doing our duty by the taxpayer.”
But perhaps the most vociferous attack came from RNC head Michael Steele. “All I’m asking for is some transparency. Like when he tells me he is too busy to come to my cookout on Memorial Day (I have a Jacuzzi for cripes’ sake) I assume that he is doing boring presidential stuff. Then I hear later that he was playing golf with some of his friends. It’s like, come on I like golf too. I have clubs and everything.” Said the visibly upset Steele.
In response to these critics the president released this statement. “I took my wife to New York because during the campaign I promised her I would. Everyone is still invited to the White House this Saturday for Twister and a Horror movie marathon. There will be punch and pie.”
*Our resident classicist says that this might not be true. Whatever, it should be.
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Well Mr. Obama has a nice swing. But I think he only play on a holiday before spending his time with his family.
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