6:15 am, Somewhere on the eastern seaboard – The hot yellow glare penetrating these stubbornly closed sticky eyelids indicates that the sun is now fully above the horizon. This bed seems unusually sticky and gritty, as do these clothes, which it must be noted are the same ones worn yesterday. Birds have been singing for the last half hour adding a aural component to the symphony of misery currently being experienced. Taking into account all the elements, the loudness of the bird song, the earthiness of this bed, and the clearly unimpeded breeze we must conclude that there is little or nothing between us and the elements save perhaps a few lingering traces of tequila. Was it tequila? Oh god…

The sun doesn’t seem to be getting any less bright and those bitching bastard birds are still singing. Along with a desperate need to urinate they form an evil triad bent on keeping us from the sweet release of unconsciousness. Gather some courage and open an eyelid. Oh fuck, that drilled directly to the back of the skull. There did seem to be a bit of green and brown, but it was out of focus. Wait, I think we may be face down here. Lets roll it over and take another look, get the old bearings. Oh god, it’s spinning; okay, just hold on tight and this will pass.

Hold on, is that ocean I’m hearing? What the… Where the fuck am I? Okay don’t panic let’s open the eyes again. Okay, now my retinas are cooked, but I know that the sky seemed a little green. Think, where is the sky green? Green, that doesn’t seem right. Better sit up…

Gah… That’s better out than in I suppose. Okay, one more time with the eyes, just a slit. Oh shit, that is the ocean. What the fuck am I doing by the ocean? Don’t panic, let’s retrace our steps. Okay I remember darts; that explains this puncture wound at least. What else? A fight with the Axe gang; stupid jerks and their spray on cologne. Then something about the bars in Jersey being open till four and the silver express running to Atlantic City at all hours… Is this Jersey? I don’t see anything but this beach. Hold on, why am I handcuffed to this cooler. Shit, is that a human kidney packed in ice? Gah…