Philadelphia, PA - Receiving Me? is currently immersed in the long term process of a short-term business stimulus plan that includes a proposal to offer free gas to its loyal readership.

Readers will receive a $50 gas voucher if they can prove that they peruse Receiving Me? on a regular basis and actually enjoy doing so. This progressive policy is the brainchild of Editor and Chief, Bernard Bygott, who was inspired by a similar policy he experienced first hand while procuring office supplies at the Shady Lady Ranch, in Beatty, Nevada.

“It was just a normal day at the brothel; I was looking for a suitable socket to fit an unusually long heavy-duty extension cord, and the girl who was helping me had a really great personality. We found a good fit, and the transaction was nearing completion, when she suddenly asked me if I owned a car. My initial thought was that the evening had turned suddenly and gravely serious, but when she pulled out a gas voucher card and told me the next tank was ‘on her’, I cleverly avoided the double entendre, took the card, and thanked her for being a great American. It was the best brothel experience I’ve ever had, except for the time when they gave away free Slurpees.”

When Mr. Bygott returned to the brothel the next day to have his three-hole-punch refurbished, he noticed an increase of customers interested in office supplies. The gas card policy was a hit. The only question in his mind was whether the business practices of a successful brothel would be equally as successful on the internet. “Nobody’s really tried the ‘brothel angle’ on the net; but I’m a revolutionary!”

Still, some are convinced that the policy is wrongheaded. In a phone interview granted by Co-founder, Leslie Fox (currently vacationing in the “vaguely Beatty, Nevada, territory”), Mr. Fox remained skeptical. “It’s my understanding that patrons of the Shady Lady Ranch are required to spend a minimum of $300.00 to qualify for the $50.00 gas voucher, whereas we would just be giving away $50.00 to anyone willing to admit they have bad taste…. Not that I’m familiar with the policies of the Shady Lady Ranch…’cause… I’m not.” [Receiving Me? was able to confirm that the policy described by Mr. Fox was (and is) in fact, accurate.] Toxic Eye Candy columnist, Little Lord Fauntleroy Walks in Shadow was equally critical, “If somebody likes my shit, then they should give ME a fucking gas voucher!” [Receiving Me? was able to confirm that Little Lord Fauntleroy Walks in Shadow was, in fact, referring to his shit, literally.]

Mr. Bygott remains optimistic despite the staff contrarians. “Trust me, nobody can prove that they actually like this rag. That’s what we refer to in the biz as an ‘empty promise’: ie. we promise to give you something, so long as you promise to let us decide that our promise wasn’t a promise meant for you! In the meantime, readership will triple and we take over the world.” If, in fact, readership ever does reach double digits as Mr. Bygott contends (with or without the help of a stimulus package) staff members have made a pact to quit while on top. Baroni’s Baloney columnist, Pates Baroni sums up the overall sentiment: “It would be a shocker, ‘cause I don’t even read this crap.”

Make sure to check the News section regularly for any updates on this developing story- this will also ensure that Receiving Me? will have an opportunity to reject at least one person’s application for an imaginary gas voucher.

Read more about the Shady Lady Ranch here:
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSN0930942720080709