WASHINGTON, DC - Republican National Committee Chairman Mike Duncan confirmed today that the Republican Party will remove John McCain from the ballot as their official candidate, and instead run “Not Obama”. Mr. Duncan stated to the press, “We have found that the campaign really centers on the one candidate, so why bother running another person against him? Our position is, ‘Not Obama’”.

The decision mirrors both the Republican and Democrat’s strategy to focus the campaign on Mr. Obama. The Republican party has already begun running attack ads, blaming Obama for gas prices, comparing him to various dilettantes, and making vague allusions to Nazi Germany. Mr. McCain fell into the trap himself, speaking in his public appearances solely about Obama’s policies, riffing on Obama’s flag pin gaffe with the press, and wondering in his private journal whether Obama would take him to the Inaugural Ball.

Many states have changed their ballots to reflect the new electoral choice. Colorado is testing a tentative ballot with a single question and just two boxes for the voter to check. It reads “Do you like Obama?” and then has a box next to “Yes” and another next to “No”. Colorado officials are undecided about including a “Maybe” box. Officials will slip the ballot in voters’ lockers when they know voters are in English class.

Constitutional scholars are split over what will happen if “Not Obama” wins in November. Duke’s Erwin Chemerinsky believes voters will move on to another crush, say the boy who bags groceries at the local Whole Foods, while Harvard’s Cass Sunstein thinks voters will stay in their rooms for a couple weeks, then burn their Obama scrapbooks and focus on getting that Dashboard Confessional fan club up and running.