Internet Destroyer
Aug 13th, 2008 | By Bernard Bygott | Category: News
HTTP, WWW - In a study released to a public that should know better, researchers at the Institute for Lower Learning found that despite all of Internet Explorer’s historic failures as a reliable web browsing device, web users maintain an “unreasonable, fierce loyalty to the shitty program.” Team leader Dr. Net Tra Gedy, was rather disheartened by the studies findings: “It defies any sense of logic or morality! No one in their right mind would continue to use the internal combustion engine if it were found to be harmful to the environment and other cleaner, safer forms of transportation were made available. Yet, people continue to use Internet Explorer even though it destroys websites (by refusing to comply with standardized code) and is easily the most hacked web-browser ever created; IE is in the simple business of making millions of users unsafe everyday, and the public just takes it.”
The sad, sad results of the Institute for Lower Learning’s study:
In a totally unrelated story, Receiving Me? is in the process of making their website more IE compliant. Being consummate professionals, they aren’t bitter about this at all.
It’s about time you latte-swilling, buzzword-buzzing, British-comedy-loving bicoastal Nancy-boys made some allowance for the silent-majority heroes living in what you so tauntingly call “flyover country” somewhere in this magazine — I can’t find it, but I’m sure it’s there. We’re Explorers of the Internet, not no pyromaniac foxes, or rich elephant hunters, or supporters of fat ladies shattering glass onstage! We get our Internet pages from our computer, not from some fancy-schmancy thingy you have to “download.”
And where’s the filling? You promised to fill me with filling!
So, this is what nirvana feels like! You, Gary Indiana, are my personal hero.
woohoo