The Garden, EDEN - In a shocking development, religious leaders at St. Saint’s Seminary School have found that according to religion, religion is true. Organizer, Father Padre Père, long a believer in his own religion, expressed hope that the findings would finally put to rest the modern argument that religion is based on superstitious beliefs that would normally be really … [continue]
It doesn’t take much to anger the copyright Gods. Receiving Me? has been a bastion of illegal activity from its inception. From dropping knowledge bombs on the drive-by-media to other things we’ve never done, Receiving Me? has proudly thumbed its virtual nose at any family members willing to read our thoughts… but times have changed. Apparently, in a … [continue]
Washington, DC - President Harry Truman was the first US president to pardon a Thanksgiving turkey. Both scrupulous and unscrupulous turkeys alike have been pardoned ever since… until now. With President Bush’s approval rating dipping bellow the approval rating of “Pumpkin” (this year’s turkey chosen for pardon), officials in the White House have decided to modify the tradition and have the turkey pardon Bush. Bush’s harshest critics (i.e. everyone) are up in arms over what they describe as a sinister PR move that aims to capitalize on human inability to discern Pumpkin’s true opinion of the controversial president… [continue]
After the Eagles were defeated by the Baltimore Ravens [cough] 36-7 [cough], some questions remained as to why starting quarterback Donovan McNabb was pulled from the game with the score [cough] 10-7 [cough]. To his credit, Andy Reid explained his controversial decision at the post game press conference by clearing his throat for 20 minutes. McNabb himself tried the same tactic, but came up 1 minute short of papa bear’s mark. Fortunately, he spent the final minute… [continue]
It was a hard fought election, but before the fake ballots were even counted, Barack Obama was declared the first African American Editor and Chief of Receiving Me?. Experts agree that Editor and Chief Elect Obama benefited from not knowing or even caring about the election results. “Unlike his opponents, who made jackasses out of themselves, Obama stayed above the … [continue]
Despite the headline, former Receiving Me? Editor and Chief, Bernard Bygott, has yet to stage his official return to these virtual pages of infamy, opting instead to use his incredible ability to “borrow” stuff in order to share a documentary with “the readership” (Leslie and Pates’ moms)– those lost souls who find themselves here by accident may also watch free … [continue]
You’ve heard the lies from Leslie Fox. Maybe you’ve noticed that someone is named “Pates Baroni”? I thank you for indulging lesser minds, but the time has come for some unadulterated awesome. Vote Bernard Bygott Editor and Chief, or be associated with losers forvever . I trust no one wants to burden themselves with the prospect of such a profoundly barren existence… [continue]
Occasionally I write very involved lies to justify the content on this blogazine. This is not one of those times. Here’s the trailer I made for International Opera Theater’s production of Romeo e Giulietta (the English translation is extremely obscure). Composed by Emily Wong. Conducted by Simone Luti. Directed by Karen Saillant. Rumor is the opera will be coming to … [continue]
HOLLYWOOD, CA - David Spade waited for DNA reports to identify him as the father of 22-year-old playboy playmate Jillian Grace’s child. Doctors insisted that that the tests were necessary because “another man equally as ugly might also have slept with Ms. Grace at some point.”
Grace could not be reached… [continue]
Neverland Ranch, CA - Michael Jackson turned 50 on Friday. Although the star received an overwhelming variety of birthday presents from family, friends, and fans alike, one anonymous superfan offered the King of Pop something truly unusual: an opportunity to travel back in time and eliminate the many botched plastic surgeries that have since left his face “falling apart”… [continue]
