Long-lost Fondamenta degli Ormesini columnist, Andrea Aguzzi, checks back in with some pictures of the newly constructed Calatrava Bridge in Venice– the fourth bridge across the Grand Canal… [continue]
The Phillies and Raul Ibanez agreed to a 3-year, $30 million contract on Saturday. New Phils GM, Rueben Amaro Jr., described the pickup succinctly: “Raul will play left field and be old.”
This move means that Pat Burrell is officially less likely to sleep with your girlfriend in South Philly next year. Guys attached to hot girls in American … [continue]
North Pole, Arctic Ocean - With the overwhelming success of cinematic masterwork, Four Christmases, executives at Time Warner Inc. have decided to greenlight (cheesy pun intended) three sequels: Five Christmases, Six Christmases, and Seven Kwanzaas. Vince Vaughn, currently busy “getting laid after a long dry spell,” is reported to be on board for the three films as long as a “hot blond is also involved.” Apparently last year’s Christmas film, Fred Claus, taught Vaughn that very important lesson… [continue]
Before working in a cubicle this week, I had never even stepped inside one of these blissfully gray dead zones, but now that I have, I will never look at boring office work the same way again! These things are great!
If you thought you were dispassionate at the office before working in a cubicle, then you are living … [continue]
The Garden, EDEN - In a shocking development, religious leaders at St. Saint’s Seminary School have found that according to religion, religion is true. Organizer, Father Padre Père, long a believer in his own religion, expressed hope that the findings would finally put to rest the modern argument that religion is based on superstitious beliefs that would normally be really … [continue]
It doesn’t take much to anger the copyright Gods. Receiving Me? has been a bastion of illegal activity from its inception. From dropping knowledge bombs on the drive-by-media to other things we’ve never done, Receiving Me? has proudly thumbed its virtual nose at any family members willing to read our thoughts… but times have changed. Apparently, in a … [continue]
Washington, DC - President Harry Truman was the first US president to pardon a Thanksgiving turkey. Both scrupulous and unscrupulous turkeys alike have been pardoned ever since… until now. With President Bush’s approval rating dipping bellow the approval rating of “Pumpkin” (this year’s turkey chosen for pardon), officials in the White House have decided to modify the tradition and have the turkey pardon Bush. Bush’s harshest critics (i.e. everyone) are up in arms over what they describe as a sinister PR move that aims to capitalize on human inability to discern Pumpkin’s true opinion of the controversial president… [continue]
After the Eagles were defeated by the Baltimore Ravens [cough] 36-7 [cough], some questions remained as to why starting quarterback Donovan McNabb was pulled from the game with the score [cough] 10-7 [cough]. To his credit, Andy Reid explained his controversial decision at the post game press conference by clearing his throat for 20 minutes. McNabb himself tried the same tactic, but came up 1 minute short of papa bear’s mark. Fortunately, he spent the final minute… [continue]
It was a hard fought election, but before the fake ballots were even counted, Barack Obama was declared the first African American Editor and Chief of Receiving Me?. Experts agree that Editor and Chief Elect Obama benefited from not knowing or even caring about the election results. “Unlike his opponents, who made jackasses out of themselves, Obama stayed above the … [continue]
Despite the headline, former Receiving Me? Editor and Chief, Bernard Bygott, has yet to stage his official return to these virtual pages of infamy, opting instead to use his incredible ability to “borrow” stuff in order to share a documentary with “the readership” (Leslie and Pates’ moms)– those lost souls who find themselves here by accident may also watch free … [continue]
