Like a wave of humidity rolling up the Delaware, a fresh optimism has spread over the City of Brotherly Love. Reports from training camp are that Donovan McNabb, freshly invigorated from a transfusion of tens of millions of dollars, is throwing “lazer” [sic]. New wideout Jeremy Maclin has been confirmed as indeed a wideout, and one drafted by the Eagles. … [continue]
A likely trio of illegal immigrants, liberal intelligentsia, and professional basketball players has joined forces to destroy America’s sporting traditions from within this free land. Their goal is nothing less than destroying the American ideal of manhood through importing the “world’s game” to our shores, and implanting it in the soul of the nation’s youth.
Sport is a method … [continue]
Little evokes the unsatisfying spirit of Jimmy Carter like a tie in professional football. Ties are so rare in the NFL that, league wide, the stretch between ties is measured in years. A certain number of NFL players didn’t know of the possibility of the tie as recently as last week, that number being either fifty percent or Donovan McNabb. … [continue]
In more civil and banal times, I could get behind the President choosing a cabinet to promote stability and continuity, or for simple political reasons. This is no time for Carter-ian prudence, though. America voted for change. America gave Obama the mandate to bring the motherfuckin’ ruckus.
The voters, or maybe the fates themselves, have already decided how to … [continue]
If you walk down South Street on any given day, you’d likely run into a certain crazy old man, and he’d challenge you to a fight. This gentlemen is quite good at what he does: you’d want to fight him despite the facts that he is: (1) old, and (2) crazy. The man is so compelling, so practiced … [continue]
WASHINGTON, DC - Republican National Committee Chairman Mike Duncan confirmed today that the Republican Party will remove John McCain from the ballot as their official candidate, and instead run “Not Obama”. Mr. Duncan stated to the press, “We have found that the campaign really centers on the one candidate, so why bother running another person against him? Our … [continue]
Receiving Me? likes to exploit all the cultural trends that might put cash into the editors’ hands; in that spirit, Receiving Me? announces a new line of self-help books for anyone who wants to go conquer the wilds of their professional life: Nature’s Warriors. In each book in the series, the reader will learn to channel the spirit of … [continue]
For years, Justice Potter Stewart has taken crap for his famous quote about pornography: “I know it when I see it.” The more prudish members of the Court declined Justice Stewart’s offer to watch any borderline material so he could give his thumbs up or down, but legal scholars have long speculated that the rise in applications for clerkships … [continue]
This magazine recently ran two pieces endorsing Barrack Obama, firmly ensconsing Receiving Me? in the radical tradition of Hollywood Celiberals and neo Clooney-ism. And by tradition, I mean left wing moonbat conspiracy. Before you call me an A.M. radio listening wingnut [i] for making such an accusation, I offer you unequivocal proof: Hollywood provided this very magazine with a quid … [continue]
