GREEN BAY, Wis - Brett Favre has been officially re-instated as an eligible player in the NFL and returned to the Packers active roster; according to head coach, Mike McCarthy, not a minute too soon! Echoing the sentiments of many armchair coaches across American living rooms, McCarthy was initially skeptical about Favre’s ability to continue playing football at a high … [continue]
Yes, Yes, Yes!! We are the champions! It took Philadelphia however many years are between 1983 and now, but the curse is dead. The Philadelphia Soul won the Whatever-It’s-Called Bowl maybe a couple days ago or whenever (I didn’t actually see the game… but I hear it was football related). This means that we proud Philadelphians are world champions in … [continue]
The legendary baseball great, Tony Gwynn, has decided to embark on a second career as a spokesperson for Receiving Me?. Gwynn, who recently spent June, “eating my old baseball cards,” feels that he can bring a certain credibility to the magazine that has thus far eluded all other aspects of the company. “The important thing to note is that, as … [continue]
Look, I knew they were going to lose, I just didn’t think it would be in that way. Going out there and showing no heart, just letting that group of bozos step all over your pride like that. That’s why I’m telling you, this team will never win, not so long as those penny-pinching bastards are running the show. I … [continue]
I approach this article with extreme trepidation. Cautiously I peck at my keyboard knowing full well I have no right to be typing. Since the dawn of time, Athletic Support has been the domain of an intelligent and knowledgeable source of athletic wisdom known simply as Brett “The Hitman” Harsch; but due to unforeseen “work obligations”, Support has … [continue]
Athletic Support would like to take a break from misinforming you about basketball and baseball and talk to you for a moment about an ongoing crisis in this country. Athletic Support hates two things, intolerance of others and Scientology. And even though we have always felt this way, we feel those crazy “alien souls trapped in a volcano” believing … [continue]
Beloved readers, Athletic Support would like to apologize for the delay in communications; we’ve been busy lately with our “job.” But we are back and feeling only slightly bitter about the fact that we can, at best, finish second in our office pool to some random girl who miraculously picked Davidson over Wisconsin. However, we’ve moved beyond this disappointment to … [continue]
As we sit here in a bar playing hooky from our day job, we started thinking about NCAA tournament etiquette. When it comes to tourney time there are some rules of behavior that one must conform to. Otherwise people will find you gauche and uncouth and other old-timey words that mean “jackass”. We here at Athletic Support have drawn up a short … [continue]
OFFICIAL RULES OF THE NBA
1. Games last 48 minutes, divided into 4 quarters of 12 minutes each.
a. No effort by players required…
b. Except for the last 5 minutes of the game.
2. Traveling is defined as taking more than 3 steps without dribbling
the ball…
a. Except for Kobe Bryant.
b. … [continue]
Football! Wrong Season!
Baseball! Not Yet!
Hockey! Who Cares!
Basketball! Just Right!
The madness of March descends upon us once again, like vipers from planes or the careers of overcharged politicians. (Jersey girls: 5 drinks on the shore or 3 grand in the city) And yet, we are still excited, nay entranced by the yearly spectacle of basketball mediocrity wrought by early departures to … [continue]
