Tom Daschle offered a public apology on Monday evening for his failure to pay income taxes on use of a luxury car and driver, and Senate Democrats rallied behind him, saying they intended to win his confirmation as secretary of health and human services…

Nancy Killefer, who failed for a year … [continue]

I’m sure all of you are familiar with the internet’s ability to supply video. I thought I’d list this link because A) it’s actually legal, B) the video quality is pretty good, and C) it’s a really good show that would be hard to find elsewhere. That’s right, I’m talking about 1967’s “The Prisoner” staring the recently deceased Patrick McGoohan and … [continue]

There are times when as an unpaid, unprofessional blog satirist I need to step back from my civic duty of throwing paper airplanes at the chalkboard and simply take a moment as it is. Such a time was today during President Obama’s inauguration speech. All through the pre-event coverage I heard voters interviewed, “What do you want … [continue]

An extended despondency front has moved in over the Delaware valley. The weather system is likely to be characterized by impotent rage storms and blessed blackouts and looks to remain in place until March. Residents are urged to remain indoors and direct their football related complaints to Loki, god of deceit and terrible NFC championship performances. Under no circumstances … [continue]

One of these Quarterbacks is headed to the NFC Championship.  See if you can guess who. (Hint: the one on the right is Eli Manning.)

Citizens Bank Park, Philadelphia - Philadelphia Phillies relief pitcher J.C. Romero will be suspended for the first 50 games of the 2009 baseball season after testing positive for a banned supplement he purchased over the counter at a chain nutrition store. The supplement was banned from professional baseball in 2008 for containing ingredients that raise testosterone levels. Phils skipper, Charlie … [continue]

Philadelphia, PA - It has been a grueling 24 days since Leslie Fox and Pates Baroni last wrote articles for Receiving Me?, the faux online magazine. This has dealt a serious blow to circulation, as the magazine’s readership is limited to Mrs. Fox and Mrs. Baroni. Management has done well to maintain new articles with the contributions of Bernard Bygott … [continue]

The Office @ Receiving Me? - The results are in, and Receiving Me? has named Alan Colmes 2008 Person Of The Year. Though Colmes faced stiff competition from President-Elect, Barack Obama, and that guy who won So You Think You Can Dance, Colmes’s last minute decision to leave Hannity and Colmes and Fox News, without even a token liberal, crushed … [continue]

The Phillies and Raul Ibanez agreed to a 3-year, $30 million contract on Saturday. New Phils GM, Rueben Amaro Jr., described the pickup succinctly: “Raul will play left field and be old.”

This move means that Pat Burrell is officially less likely to sleep with your girlfriend in South Philly next year. Guys attached to hot girls in American … [continue]

North Pole, Arctic Ocean - With the overwhelming success of cinematic masterwork, Four Christmases, executives at Time Warner Inc. have decided to greenlight (cheesy pun intended) three sequels: Five Christmases, Six Christmases, and Seven Kwanzaas. Vince Vaughn, currently busy “getting laid after a long dry spell,” is reported to be on board for the three films as long as a “hot blond is also involved.” Apparently last year’s Christmas film, Fred Claus, taught Vaughn that very important lesson… [continue]