Irony isn’t dead, but its golden age has passed.  Now we enter days of meta.  Popping around the major news networks last night and the major newspapers this morning I found not a single story or dialog about what the candidates said.  Nobody was interested in truth or relevance of the debate, instead all efforts were directed … [continue]

Now that the major party candidates have been vetted, selected, serenaded, and airbrushed into plastic perfection it’s time to get down to the business of actually voting for someone. Poling data shows that the average Receiving Me? reader is attentive, intelligent, ideologically focused, and my mother. People of such discriminating taste aren’t going to settle for what’s offered just … [continue]

ST. PAUL, MN – It was to be a triumphant night for presidential hopeful John McCain. Balloons were stuffed into net bags and dragged to the rafters in preparation for their release on to what would no doubt be an ecstatic sea of Republican delegates.ƒ Smoke machines and laser rigs were at the ready, and the … [continue]

DAYTON, Ohio - Theories abound as to why John McCain picked Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his vice presidential nominee.

MSNBC: “She’s a card-carrying lifetime member of the National Rifle Association.”

LA Times: “John McCain clearly concluded that Palin could attract female voters and grab his campaign some Barack… [continue]

BREAKING - Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) has answered criticism that he is both out of touch with Barack Obama’s message of “change” and long past his prime with a sudden and dramatic makeover. Biden is calling his new look “radical garb,” which he describes as “a swingin’ combination of raw urban wear and sterile conformity.” He claims to … [continue]

Although Barack Obama has named Senator Joseph Biden as his vice presidential running mate, many deserving, talented individuals were overlooked in the process. The following is a list of some of the most viciously slighted, ranked in order from “please make this happen” to “Earthtopia”. Perhaps Senator John McCain will take note.

Dave Chapelle. What he lacks in reliability, … [continue]

Receiving Me? obtained the following article from The Society for the Betterment of Follicle Health.

Our Completely Irrefutable Presidential Hairdo Review

First, a few notes on recent presidential candidates (just for fun):

John Edwards. The cheating cheat! He’s unworthy of the hair on his own head. Can we touch, can we touch?

Barack Obama. Well groomed, … [continue]

WASHINGTON, DC - Republican National Committee Chairman Mike Duncan confirmed today that the Republican Party will remove John McCain from the ballot as their official candidate, and instead run “Not Obama”. Mr. Duncan stated to the press, “We have found that the campaign really centers on the one candidate, so why bother running another person against him? Our … [continue]

Acknowledging his lack of support from an all-important constituency within the Democratic Party, presumptive party nominee Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., announced his intention to focus his efforts upon winning the Lanny Davis vote.

Davis, an attorney and an irrationally rabid supporter of New York senator Hillary Clinton’s during the Democratic primaries, has been extremely critical of Sen. Obama, and … [continue]

BREAKING - Receiving Me? has obtained a letter penned by Condoleezza Rice, a draft of the letter eventually sent to Congress on the Colombian Free Trade Agreement. This never-before-seen version sheds subtle new light on the reports of Secretary Rice’s interest in the Vice Presidency, but it requires some heavy between-line reading.

Statement by Secretary Condoleezza … [continue]