Washington, DC – I-495, the capital beltway, a 64 mile loop of asphalt and concrete that girdles our nation’s capital in a seething traffic feedback loop. It wasn’t so long ago that the beltway was home to some of the most heartfelt imprecations against god, man, and cell phones on the face of the earth. Hurried commuters would … [continue]

Scranton, PA – The forecast called for thunderstorms, but Butch Pickelin wasn’t looking for an umbrella, “Hon! You seen the Lysol? No I don’t want Summer Breeze® I want Garden Mist® and don’t bring me any more Glade. We need to kill the enemy, not camouflage it.” Mr. Pickelin and his family have been haunted by an … [continue]

Neverland Ranch, CA - Michael Jackson turned 50 on Friday. Although the star received an overwhelming variety of birthday presents from family, friends, and fans alike, one anonymous superfan offered the King of Pop something truly unusual: an opportunity to travel back in time and eliminate the many botched plastic surgeries that have since left his face “falling apart”… [continue]

So, you want to write like the folks at Receiving Me?, but you’re unsure how to get started. What are you crazy? Good! You’re halfway there! Now, here are some writing tips that will help you understand what it takes to transfer that “crazy” to the virtual page. Literary types: beware of verbal discharge.

1) Acquire words. This is … [continue]

AMHERST, Ma - “Receiving Me?” Simply utter the phrase and scathing thoughts come shivering down your spine; there is no denying its forcefulness; the sheer aggressiveness of words, arguments, and attacks regularly deployed within these hallowed virtual pages is terrifying to all. Men have died, women have been impregnated, children have lost control of their bowels– some of this behavior … [continue]

Let’s talk about spam. Like any website, Receivng Me? is attacked by spam commenting spiders and bots on a daily basis. Fortunately, we are a small enough site for maintenance to be possible without too much hassle; spam catching programs are installed, and we usually delete no more than ten comments a day. Spammers are smart enough to … [continue]

LOS ANGELES, CA - Much hype has been made concerning which periodical will be the first to score the much coveted, so-called, “Brangelina baby pictures” (pictures of twins, Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline, the latest inheritors of the Angelina Jolie/Brad Pitt empire of fortune). The drive-by-media would have you think that People Magazine has acquired exclusive rights to the first … [continue]

Readers of Receiving Me? are by and large the sort of people who take in more than their fair share of media. After all, if you weren’t diddling around the Internet you wouldn’t be here. So I have no doubt that all of you have heard of the new Kevin Costner movie being released shortly. For the rest of you … [continue]

There is absolutely no reason I should have to exert so much energy in order to communicate. Half the time I just stop talking in the middle of sentences, because my will to express a particular idea is weaker than my desire to preserve energy and maintain suitable lassitude levels. There is just no way that anything I … [continue]

Well, now I’ve done it.

At some point when I was in tenth grade, I arbitrarily decided that I would no longer wear underwear. It wasn’t based on something sexual (I was a somewhat late bloomer who didn’t really do anything with a girl -or boy- until I was seventeen) nor was it a rebellion against huge money-mongering … [continue]