"WE FILL YOU WITH FILLING"

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Archive for April 2008

CosaBrava

Apr 29th, 2008 | By Maestro Andrea Aguzzi | Category: Fondamenta degli Ormesini

Cosa Brava - Fred Frith - 9 aprile 2008 a Venezia

In esclusiva per la rassegna veneziana di musiche contemporanee Risonanze il 9 aprile si è esibito, unica data italiana, il nuovo gruppo “avant-rock” di Fred Frith e Zeena Parkins: Cosa Brava.

La loro nuova creatura ha un nome italiano, Cosa Brava e unisce idealmente due “coppie”. A … [continue]



Aids Virus Inventor Sues Obama

Apr 29th, 2008 | By Pates Baroni | Category: News

PHILADELPHIA, PA (April 29) - A civil suit against Democratic senator Barack Obama was filed today in a Philadelphia county court on behalf of the United States Aids Creation Guild (USACG). This comes in response to Mr. Obama’s “outrage and appall” at his former pastor’s words during a recent NAACP dinner in Detroit. As keynote speaker, Rev. Jeremiah Wright … [continue]



Amazing New Self Help Seminar. Really Works, I Promise!

Apr 29th, 2008 | By Leslie Fox | Category: Literary Ether

Have you been roped into buying books written by smooth talking hucksters promising everything from real estate wealth to easy weight loss? Have you been working at home on three internet get rich schemes while popping penis growth pills and just trying to save enough to give your family a few of Oprah’s favorite things? Do you think that positive … [continue]



Recent Warm Weather Gives Apartment that Summer Barnyard Smell

Apr 26th, 2008 | By Leslie Fox | Category: News

For the first time in what feels like eternity, the Sun peaked its face around some clouds this past week and introduced the people of Philadelphia once more to its gentle warmth and comforting embrace. Winter’s cold grasp and early Spring’s grey doldrums has departed for now and the evidence is everywhere. In South Philadelphia Old men and women sit … [continue]



Hey, You Over There; Yes, You With the Face. You’re Taking Up Too Much Space

Apr 26th, 2008 | By Pates Baroni | Category: Unhealthy Living

A while back I wrote a rather long piece focusing on the ills of our society and my mediocre-minded methods to change them. These were paired down into three separate articles, two of which were posted. The third remained locked in a dank cellar subsisting on the literary refuse of other writers. That is until today when, under duress, the … [continue]



Cops on Segways to Start Reign of Terror Pending Budgetary Aproval

Apr 24th, 2008 | By Leslie Fox | Category: Unhealthy Living

We all remember the video of Commissar Bush attempting to mount a Segway under the careful tutelage of his father. Oh how we laughed, “look, a wealthy and important individual is attempting to ride that silly electrical contrivance, only he’s forgotten to turn it on. Witness, even the mighty may be humbled. Ha.” Well I can assure I was not … [continue]



Correction: Hillary Clinton not the Spawn of Hitler Clone and Eva Peron

Apr 24th, 2008 | By Leslie Fox | Category: News

Recently Receiving Me? published an article in which is was stated that Hillary Clinton was the love child of Eva Peron and a Hitler clone wrought from the bowels of a super science lab created in Brazil by members of the Fourth Reich. Editors of Receiving Me? have only recently received evidence that all Hitler Clones produced in South … [continue]



Beauty is in the Processor of the Personal Computer

Apr 16th, 2008 | By Freeman Frohlich | Category: Literary Ether

For years, Justice Potter Stewart has taken crap for his famous quote about pornography: “I know it when I see it.” The more prudish members of the Court declined Justice Stewart’s offer to watch any borderline material so he could give his thumbs up or down, but legal scholars have long speculated that the rise in applications for clerkships … [continue]



Bigger than God/Moses?

Apr 15th, 2008 | By Bernard Bygott | Category: Literary Ether

If you are reading this and you live in America, you might be under the impression that The New York Times, the A.V. Club, and Whoever and Ebert are the arbiters of cinematic excellence and box office success. Perhaps you check Apple Trailers regularly to reassure yourself that Hollywood is working on at least nine super hero movies simultaneously and … [continue]



Panic Attacks: and now I’m wet

Apr 9th, 2008 | By Pates Baroni | Category: Unhealthy Living

I always thought that panic attacks were for highly medicated socialite housewives in need of medical jargon to explain the 3am dish breaking cacophony to snoopy neighbors after pulling a size two garter-belt from the dryer. But I was wrong. I too am among the unfounded fearful. Panic grips me every time I fly. With white knuckles … [continue]