Neverland Ranch, CA - Michael Jackson turned 50 on Friday. Although the star received an overwhelming variety of birthday presents from family, friends, and fans alike, one anonymous superfan offered the King of Pop something truly unusual: an opportunity to travel back in time and eliminate the many botched plastic surgeries that have since left his face “falling apart”… [continue]
DAYTON, Ohio - Theories abound as to why John McCain picked Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his vice presidential nominee.
MSNBC: “She’s a card-carrying lifetime member of the National Rifle Association.”
LA Times: “John McCain clearly concluded that Palin could attract female voters and grab his campaign some Barack… [continue]
The answer to all of life’s deepest and most profound mysteries has been revealed. Receiving Me? coffee minion, Bernard Bygott, made the incredible discovery while tinkering with web-layout during an office party which his imaginary colleagues accidentally forgot to invite him to. Douglas Adams fans will be disappointed to hear that the answer is not 42; Kiefer Sutherland fans will … [continue]
BREAKING - Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) has answered criticism that he is both out of touch with Barack Obama’s message of “change” and long past his prime with a sudden and dramatic makeover. Biden is calling his new look “radical garb,” which he describes as “a swingin’ combination of raw urban wear and sterile conformity.” He claims to … [continue]
In the year 527 al (after launch) the captain/navigator Constantine Smith arranged for his son Commodus Smith, to inherit civil and navigational command of the ship. Thus was born the Smith dynasty, which ruled unchallenged until the ascension of Quintus Smith to the throne in 811 al.
Shortly after Quintus took the throne he began a massive … [continue]
Although Barack Obama has named Senator Joseph Biden as his vice presidential running mate, many deserving, talented individuals were overlooked in the process. The following is a list of some of the most viciously slighted, ranked in order from “please make this happen” to “Earthtopia”. Perhaps Senator John McCain will take note.
Dave Chapelle. What he lacks in reliability, … [continue]
So, you want to write like the folks at Receiving Me?, but you’re unsure how to get started. What are you crazy? Good! You’re halfway there! Now, here are some writing tips that will help you understand what it takes to transfer that “crazy” to the virtual page. Literary types: beware of verbal discharge.
1) Acquire words. This is … [continue]
RIGHT HERE, Now - Cody Coderson, a tireless blogger at www.pleasepayattentiontome.com, claims to have embedded himself into his blog and reports to be living quite happily. If his claim holds true, this will mark the first occasion in internet history a blog has served an actual purpose. Coderson, who achieved a modicum of fame while begging friends, family, and strangers … [continue]
Receiving Me? obtained the following article from The Society for the Betterment of Follicle Health.
Our Completely Irrefutable Presidential Hairdo Review
First, a few notes on recent presidential candidates (just for fun):
John Edwards. The cheating cheat! He’s unworthy of the hair on his own head. Can we touch, can we touch?
Barack Obama. Well groomed, … [continue]
Hair enthusiasts throughout the United States were sent reeling last week when John Edwards admitted partaking in certain extracurricular activities with a former staffer, thus committing political suicide and erasing any hope that the “man with the perfect hair” might one day reach America’s highest office. Senior Vice President of The Society for the Betterment of Follicle Health (SBFH), Curly … [continue]
