Now that the major party candidates have been vetted, selected, serenaded, and airbrushed into plastic perfection it’s time to get down to the business of actually voting for someone. Poling data shows that the average Receiving Me? reader is attentive, intelligent, ideologically focused, and my mother. People of such discriminating taste aren’t going to settle for what’s offered just … [continue]

HOLLYWOOD, CA - David Spade waited for DNA reports to identify him as the father of 22-year-old playboy playmate Jillian Grace’s child. Doctors insisted that that the tests were necessary because “another man equally as ugly might also have slept with Ms. Grace at some point.”

Grace could not be reached… [continue]

ST. PAUL, MN – It was to be a triumphant night for presidential hopeful John McCain. Balloons were stuffed into net bags and dragged to the rafters in preparation for their release on to what would no doubt be an ecstatic sea of Republican delegates.ƒ Smoke machines and laser rigs were at the ready, and the … [continue]

Sarah

Someone was coming down the path. He was a man, somehow official and shoddy looking at the same time. The official elements of his person were encouraging, enough so that Sarah was prepared to accept the other less impressive aspects. Officialness meant that he might be coming on official business. At present, there was only one … [continue]