The Garden, EDEN - In a shocking development, religious leaders at St. Saint’s Seminary School have found that according to religion, religion is true. Organizer, Father Padre Père, long a believer in his own religion, expressed hope that the findings would finally put to rest the modern argument that religion is based on superstitious beliefs that would normally be really … [continue]
It doesn’t take much to anger the copyright Gods. Receiving Me? has been a bastion of illegal activity from its inception. From dropping knowledge bombs on the drive-by-media to other things we’ve never done, Receiving Me? has proudly thumbed its virtual nose at any family members willing to read our thoughts… but times have changed. Apparently, in a … [continue]
Washington, DC - President Harry Truman was the first US president to pardon a Thanksgiving turkey. Both scrupulous and unscrupulous turkeys alike have been pardoned ever since… until now. With President Bush’s approval rating dipping bellow the approval rating of “Pumpkin” (this year’s turkey chosen for pardon), officials in the White House have decided to modify the tradition and have the turkey pardon Bush. Bush’s harshest critics (i.e. everyone) are up in arms over what they describe as a sinister PR move that aims to capitalize on human inability to discern Pumpkin’s true opinion of the controversial president… [continue]
Osaka, Japan - While television and film have long held opportunities for robot advancement in the arts, live theater systematically shunned the programmed players. Today, what seemed a glass ceiling for some robots, and outright bigotry for others, has been shattered with a groundbreaking performance. Osaka University has become home to one of Japan’s first robot-human theatrical productions. The … [continue]
NovaCare Center, Philadelphia PA – Donavan McNabb, long time Eagles quarterback, called a press conference today to state his eagerness for the start of regular season play.
“This has been fun and all, I’ve really had a chance to work on some things, to take some chances and make some plays that you can’t really … [continue]
After the Eagles were defeated by the Baltimore Ravens [cough] 36-7 [cough], some questions remained as to why starting quarterback Donovan McNabb was pulled from the game with the score [cough] 10-7 [cough]. To his credit, Andy Reid explained his controversial decision at the post game press conference by clearing his throat for 20 minutes. McNabb himself tried the same tactic, but came up 1 minute short of papa bear’s mark. Fortunately, he spent the final minute… [continue]
It was a hard fought election, but before the fake ballots were even counted, Barack Obama was declared the first African American Editor and Chief of Receiving Me?. Experts agree that Editor and Chief Elect Obama benefited from not knowing or even caring about the election results. “Unlike his opponents, who made jackasses out of themselves, Obama stayed above the … [continue]
Little evokes the unsatisfying spirit of Jimmy Carter like a tie in professional football. Ties are so rare in the NFL that, league wide, the stretch between ties is measured in years. A certain number of NFL players didn’t know of the possibility of the tie as recently as last week, that number being either fifty percent or Donovan McNabb. … [continue]
In more civil and banal times, I could get behind the President choosing a cabinet to promote stability and continuity, or for simple political reasons. This is no time for Carter-ian prudence, though. America voted for change. America gave Obama the mandate to bring the motherfuckin’ ruckus.
The voters, or maybe the fates themselves, have already decided how to … [continue]
Of those that happen upon Receiving Me?, there are a select few who read the content. Those who read the content give way to an even slimmer masochistic minority who revisit our foe magazine. This piece is for the edification of that slim readership.
Revisiting our beloved site, in search of good material you did not … [continue]
