There has to be more than this. I’m certain that I saw in some movie somewhere that life is much more exciting. Where’s the part where I discover the lost arc of the covenant, or pose as a psychic while solving murders with superpowers of observation, or find a breathtakingly beautiful woman that appreciates all my genuinely deplorable quirks? (Okay, the second one was from TV, but you get my point.)… [continue]

Major League Baseball commissioner, Bud Selig, has made a good decision; it’s about time. As of 2010, the MLB Hall of Fame class will include any former players who participated in the game between 1992 and 2006 who have yet to have tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. While the decision is controversial with druggies and blasphemists, it is … [continue]

The first track on Sir MC Gielgud’s new hip-hop album, The Bard’s Got Flow, is already an internet phenomenon generating hits in the double digits, enough web-traffic to break several RM? records! However, just as plans to celebrate in the Cayman Islands were finalized, we received the second track of TBGF in the mail. This unexpected donation sent Han, our pet monkey/music critic/travel agent, into a week long “listening celebration.” Now it seems we are stuck in the good ol’ USA until someone else can figure out the telephone… [continue]

Nadya Suleman, the Los Angeles woman who recently gave birth to her seventh through fourteenth child, has decided to donate several of her extra children to charity. Suleman, who gave birth to the octuplets after undergoing an in-vitro procedure, has expressed concern with how the economy may be affecting families living in poverty.

“I just know … [continue]

Following in the footsteps of Biggie Smalls, Sir John Gielgud, the late great actor of the English stage, is planning an after death comeback. Gielgud’s first hip-hop album, The Bard’s Got Flow, will hit stores this month. The album features Gielgud performing Shakespearean monolgues with hip-hop instrumentals. Producer, Icey Timberland, describes the album as “Shakespeare… but good.” Gielgud’s estate has … [continue]

Listen to RM?’s exclusive interview with Christian Bale:

The following is a trancript:

Christian Bale has of late been making headlines for his sensational temper tantrums both on and off the screen, but RM? recently sat down with a wonderfully mild-mannered Bale at his favorite Japanese tea garden to discuss an upcoming documentary he hopes will change all of that. According to the film’s producers, the project, tentatively called The Softer Side of Bale… [continue]

(If perchance you missed the title… this article is the continuation of something critics recently dubbed “brilliant”– a quote that may or may not have been prompted by National Speak Like A Guinness Ad Day.)

Shirt Guy was a character straight out of one of those R-rated teenage comedy films. There was an air of implausibility to every one … [continue]

Hello Friend,

You’re looking well. I see that like me you appreciate the finer things in life. Whether it’s an isolated tropical beach in the pacific where the Sun drops into the ocean just so, a deep tissue massage from a blind Thai girl trained from birth in the seven arts of easing troubled flesh, … [continue]

Tom Daschle offered a public apology on Monday evening for his failure to pay income taxes on use of a luxury car and driver, and Senate Democrats rallied behind him, saying they intended to win his confirmation as secretary of health and human services…

Nancy Killefer, who failed for a year … [continue]

In an apparent show of solidarity with uber-athlete Michael Phelps, famous people across the globe are releasing incriminating snapshots of themselves smoking pot. Phelps was caught in the act while partaking in America’s favorite pastime at the University of South Carolina last November, but a British tabloid only recently published the photo. (Apparently it was a slow week for Britney.) … [continue]