Dear Mom,

I really wanted to make it home for Easter, or at the very least, I really wanted to have some very good reasons for not making it home. It appears, thus far, I have failed on both fronts. However, if there is one thing I have learned as a thirty-year-old deadbeat, it’s that it’s never too late … [continue]

While perusing a book of supposed truths called Uncle John’s Extraordinary Book of Facts & Bizarre Information, I ran across an ironic sidebar: “The lowest man on the totem pole is the most important.” While this would lead some to question how exactly this turn of phrase came to mean the (ahem) polar opposite (sorry, I had to go there), it … [continue]

Disclaimer: The following is provided for educational purposes only and in no way condones stealing movies from the rightful millionaires who deserve your money!!! Seriously, if you like a film… try paying for it!!!

So, technologically unsophisticated one, you have recently discovered that there are ways to borrow movies using a little invention called “the internet”. However, you are … [continue]

Steve Jobs, like other uber-cool celebrities before him, has been hiding Satanic messages in his public appearances for years. Only recently, however, has anybody decoded his messages. It seems that most people assumed that a techno-wiz like Jobs would have used some complicated algorithm to mask his agenda. It turns out Jobs used a simple “backmasking” tecnique, like the Beatles … [continue]

In an apparent blow to somebody who cares, Rush Limbaugh is leaving New York and “not coming back”. Limbaugh blames the new state budget, in which millionaires now have to pay higher taxes than janitors and other folks without nationally syndicated radio shows. Liberals claim the budget is a big victory for children, the elderly, the disabled, and homeless people … [continue]