BREAKING - Senator Joseph Biden (D-DE) has answered criticism that he is both out of touch with Barack Obama’s message of “change” and long past his prime with a sudden and dramatic makeover. Biden is calling his new look “radical garb,” which he describes as “a swingin’ combination of raw urban wear and sterile conformity.” He claims to … [continue]
Hair enthusiasts throughout the United States were sent reeling last week when John Edwards admitted partaking in certain extracurricular activities with a former staffer, thus committing political suicide and erasing any hope that the “man with the perfect hair” might one day reach America’s highest office. Senior Vice President of The Society for the Betterment of Follicle Health (SBFH), Curly … [continue]
AMHERST, Ma - “Receiving Me?” Simply utter the phrase and scathing thoughts come shivering down your spine; there is no denying its forcefulness; the sheer aggressiveness of words, arguments, and attacks regularly deployed within these hallowed virtual pages is terrifying to all. Men have died, women have been impregnated, children have lost control of their bowels– some of this behavior … [continue]
Receiving Me? likes to exploit all the cultural trends that might put cash into the editors’ hands; in that spirit, Receiving Me? announces a new line of self-help books for anyone who wants to go conquer the wilds of their professional life: Nature’s Warriors. In each book in the series, the reader will learn to channel the spirit of … [continue]
Readers of Receiving Me? are by and large the sort of people who take in more than their fair share of media. After all, if you weren’t diddling around the Internet you wouldn’t be here. So I have no doubt that all of you have heard of the new Kevin Costner movie being released shortly. For the rest of you … [continue]
BREAKING - Receiving Me? has obtained a letter penned by Condoleezza Rice, a draft of the letter eventually sent to Congress on the Colombian Free Trade Agreement. This never-before-seen version sheds subtle new light on the reports of Secretary Rice’s interest in the Vice Presidency, but it requires some heavy between-line reading.
Statement by Secretary Condoleezza … [continue]
Amidst the heat of any campaign, unpleasant rumors will circulate. Sometimes the gossip is founded in truth, but often the claims are spurious. This is the nature of battle for public office. It takes thick skin and perseverance to run the gauntlet of public scrutiny. We have all had our moments in the spotlight, gunning for some position of power. … [continue]
Springfield, IL: It’s a day that many of us will remember forever as the day that Senator Barack Obama’s presidential hopes went down in flames. He came to us bringing a message of hope and a willingness to speak honestly, and despite these flaws we embraced him, but now, now nothing will ever be the same. Diehard supporters were … [continue]
Uruzgan, Afghanistan (May 1) Al-Qaeda released a video today stating that terrorist recruitment has been hard hit by record low prices at U.S. malls. In the video Ayman al-Zawahiri says that less people want to destroy America now that the weak U.S. dollar has made brand name clothing available at bargain basement prices.
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If you are reading this and you live in America, you might be under the impression that The New York Times, the A.V. Club, and Whoever and Ebert are the arbiters of cinematic excellence and box office success. Perhaps you check Apple Trailers regularly to reassure yourself that Hollywood is working on at least nine super hero movies simultaneously and … [continue]
