BEIJING, China - Although it is generally agreed that the Olympics were created to serve as a platform for political activism and global animosity, representatives from The International Olympic Committee (IOC) are bucking the system, claiming that this year’s Olympics in Beijing will feature “athletic competition”. Members of the IOC plan to bring about this radical change by “inviting … [continue]

Islamabad, Pakistan (May 2) In an attempt to rekindle interest in destroying the U.S., Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri unveiled plans today for Martyr Kingdom, the largest theme park ever constructed by a single terrorist network. Al-Qaeda is also in negotiations for the rights to the Hammas children’s puppet show series called the Exceptionals.

“The terms of the negotiation keep changing … [continue]

Uruzgan, Afghanistan (May 1) Al-Qaeda released a video today stating that terrorist recruitment has been hard hit by record low prices at U.S. malls. In the video Ayman al-Zawahiri says that less people want to destroy America now that the weak U.S. dollar has made brand name clothing available at bargain basement prices.

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Any decade worth recalling has its signifiers. The little fragments of pop culture that we can all collectively agree hark from that day of yore. The 20s had flappers, the 30s had hobos, the 40s had noir, and the 50’s had a frozen smile covering alcoholism and despair. We are now entering the closing days of … [continue]