AMHERST, Ma - “Receiving Me?” Simply utter the phrase and scathing thoughts come shivering down your spine; there is no denying its forcefulness; the sheer aggressiveness of words, arguments, and attacks regularly deployed within these hallowed virtual pages is terrifying to all. Men have died, women have been impregnated, children have lost control of their bowels– some of this behavior … [continue]

I lose the words that should be expressed on saucers of joy,
And count the days until separation means necessities rule.
For a time you walked into the shade when light seemed opposable,
But toothaches create a certain wisdom in my solar plexus.
When returning to the ground I grant three wishes of my own,
Not forever, or temporarily used– time floats on dimension undisclosed.
The sound of … [continue]

It is April 7th and I am fat. Why should this concern you? Let’s not be coy tubby, you are too. That jelly belly isn’t full of giggles, it’s full of shame and Ben and Jerry’s. But let’s not stop there. Where’s Surinam? Don’t know, do you? There’s no shame in that; nobody knows where Surinam is except … [continue]

Although I’m a fairly large guy I’m pretty much a baby when it comes to animals. Even if the animal is tiny, I have an innate fear of actually interacting with it (as if the animal’s aura were threatening to take my lunch money). Over the years, and by way of having no choice, I’ve managed to overcome … [continue]