Chicago IL, Hundreds of thousands flocked to Grant park last night to witness history with their own eyes. They chanted their mantra into the evening air in hope and anticipation, “Yes we can! Yes we can!” Finally, after a wait that lasted hours, years, or a lifetime, the numbers came through, ballots were tallied and Barack Obama … [continue]
ST. PAUL, MN – It was to be a triumphant night for presidential hopeful John McCain. Balloons were stuffed into net bags and dragged to the rafters in preparation for their release on to what would no doubt be an ecstatic sea of Republican delegates.ƒ Smoke machines and laser rigs were at the ready, and the … [continue]
DAYTON, Ohio - Theories abound as to why John McCain picked Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his vice presidential nominee.
MSNBC: “She’s a card-carrying lifetime member of the National Rifle Association.”
LA Times: “John McCain clearly concluded that Palin could attract female voters and grab his campaign some Barack… [continue]
Although Barack Obama has named Senator Joseph Biden as his vice presidential running mate, many deserving, talented individuals were overlooked in the process. The following is a list of some of the most viciously slighted, ranked in order from “please make this happen” to “Earthtopia”. Perhaps Senator John McCain will take note.
Dave Chapelle. What he lacks in reliability, … [continue]
Receiving Me? obtained the following article from The Society for the Betterment of Follicle Health.
Our Completely Irrefutable Presidential Hairdo Review
First, a few notes on recent presidential candidates (just for fun):
John Edwards. The cheating cheat! He’s unworthy of the hair on his own head. Can we touch, can we touch?
Barack Obama. Well groomed, … [continue]
AMHERST, Ma - “Receiving Me?” Simply utter the phrase and scathing thoughts come shivering down your spine; there is no denying its forcefulness; the sheer aggressiveness of words, arguments, and attacks regularly deployed within these hallowed virtual pages is terrifying to all. Men have died, women have been impregnated, children have lost control of their bowels– some of this behavior … [continue]
WASHINGTON, DC - Republican National Committee Chairman Mike Duncan confirmed today that the Republican Party will remove John McCain from the ballot as their official candidate, and instead run “Not Obama”. Mr. Duncan stated to the press, “We have found that the campaign really centers on the one candidate, so why bother running another person against him? Our … [continue]
John McCain, the Maverick Republican Senator from Arizona, has disappeared from the public eye. The rumors as to his activities have been wildly divergent. Some claim that McCain is working as a short order chef in Gary, IN; others swear that he has become a lady-boy pleasure slave in a Laotian karaoke bar; strangest of all are the claims … [continue]
BREAKING - Receiving Me? has obtained a letter penned by Condoleezza Rice, a draft of the letter eventually sent to Congress on the Colombian Free Trade Agreement. This never-before-seen version sheds subtle new light on the reports of Secretary Rice’s interest in the Vice Presidency, but it requires some heavy between-line reading.
Statement by Secretary Condoleezza … [continue]
Phoenix, AZ - Senator John McCain (R, AZ), who avid politicos may remember is the presumed nominee of the Republican Party, has at last emerged from seclusion. A representative of his campaign had this statement about the unusually long break from active campaigning. “We thought it best if McCain stayed out of the fracas that the long democratic primary season would … [continue]
