Although Barack Obama has named Senator Joseph Biden as his vice presidential running mate, many deserving, talented individuals were overlooked in the process. The following is a list of some of the most viciously slighted, ranked in order from “please make this happen” to “Earthtopia”. Perhaps Senator John McCain will take note.
Dave Chapelle. What he lacks in reliability, … [continue]
Hair enthusiasts throughout the United States were sent reeling last week when John Edwards admitted partaking in certain extracurricular activities with a former staffer, thus committing political suicide and erasing any hope that the “man with the perfect hair” might one day reach America’s highest office. Senior Vice President of The Society for the Betterment of Follicle Health (SBFH), Curly … [continue]
Buzkashi
Popular throughout central Asia, this progenitor of modern Polo is played with an indeterminate number of players on horseback who vie for control of a dead goat. Upon snatching said goat carcass from the ground the player must then escape from the pack of other players and make his way toward the goal line. Goals are recorded … [continue]
AMHERST, Ma - “Receiving Me?” Simply utter the phrase and scathing thoughts come shivering down your spine; there is no denying its forcefulness; the sheer aggressiveness of words, arguments, and attacks regularly deployed within these hallowed virtual pages is terrifying to all. Men have died, women have been impregnated, children have lost control of their bowels– some of this behavior … [continue]
BEIJING, China - Although it is generally agreed that the Olympics were created to serve as a platform for political activism and global animosity, representatives from The International Olympic Committee (IOC) are bucking the system, claiming that this year’s Olympics in Beijing will feature “athletic competition”. Members of the IOC plan to bring about this radical change by “inviting … [continue]
FERME DE CAMUS, France - This week the American dollar fell to a $1.54 against the euro, a record low. Unstable currency exchange is just one of the hurdles that business must leap in search of profits. For some wholesalers and manufacturers the tumbling dollar has created a windfall, others have found their profits gutted, and everyone has one eye … [continue]
Receiving Me? likes to exploit all the cultural trends that might put cash into the editors’ hands; in that spirit, Receiving Me? announces a new line of self-help books for anyone who wants to go conquer the wilds of their professional life: Nature’s Warriors. In each book in the series, the reader will learn to channel the spirit of … [continue]
BREAKING - Receiving Me? has obtained a letter penned by Condoleezza Rice, a draft of the letter eventually sent to Congress on the Colombian Free Trade Agreement. This never-before-seen version sheds subtle new light on the reports of Secretary Rice’s interest in the Vice Presidency, but it requires some heavy between-line reading.
Statement by Secretary Condoleezza … [continue]
Springfield, IL: It’s a day that many of us will remember forever as the day that Senator Barack Obama’s presidential hopes went down in flames. He came to us bringing a message of hope and a willingness to speak honestly, and despite these flaws we embraced him, but now, now nothing will ever be the same. Diehard supporters were … [continue]
I had (for a few months now) assumed that Hillary Clinton was the first woman in the United States to win a presidential primary. Turns out, as you may already know, I was wrong. In 1972 Shirley Chisholm took sixty-seven percent of the vote in the New Jersey Democratic primary, becoming both the first African-American and first woman to … [continue]
